Divorce and Mediation
Posted by catherine jacobs on Tue, Jun 22, 2010 @ 09:15 AM
Divorce Mediation Myths:
Myth #1: Mediation allows one spouse to dominate another.
Fact: An experienced mediator is always aware of the power balance between the spouses and utilizes many specific techniques to correct any imbalance. If one spouse persists in dominating behavior, the mediator will call a stop to the mediation rather than allowing it to continue. Spouses should let their mediator know if there is an issue with control in the marriage. This will allow the mediator to watch for any power imbalances and stop them before they detract from the mediation process.
Myth: Mediation is more of a hassle than hiring a lawyer to handle the divorce.
Fact:Mediation can significantly reduce the "hassles" of hiring a lawyer and proceeding to court on a divorce matter. Mediation can generally be concluded in a few sessions, if not less, whereas a court case can drag on for months and years, thus making it more of a hassle and is significantly more expensive.
Myth: Mediation makes the divorce take longer.
Fact: In almost all cases, mediation takes less time than litigating a divorce. Even if the parties settle out of court, by the time that happens, mediation would be done and over. With mediation, there are no court mandated dates, hearings, and investigations. Mediation allows you to settle your case and move on with your life.
Myth: You don't get to have a lawyer represent you in mediation.
Fact:Mediators welcome parties who have hired attorneys. Experienced divorce and family law attorneys recognize the benefits and value of mediation as a quicker and more amicable form of resolving martial splits. Lawyers can play an important roll during mediation. They assist their clients in the negotiations, they ofter can help design settlement agreements, they advise their clients of their legal rights, and they can prepare the necessary paperwork that is filed with the court. Generally, when you hire a lawyer to represent you at mediation, the lawyers charge a reasonable hourly rate and there is no need for a large retainer. The client only pays for the amount of representation that is needed for the arbitration and paperwork. This eliminates the need for paying a lawyer to go to court, negotiate with the opposing attorney, conduct hearings, come up with proposed settlements for the opposing side to review, argue in court, and the list goes on and on...
Myth: All divorce lawyers understand and support mediation.
Fact:Even though mediation is fast becoming the preferred method of handling divorces, not all attorneys have had experience in this area. Mediation is a non-adversarial approach to divorce, contrary to divorce litigation for the past hundreds of years. You will find that some lawyers believe mediation should not be used to obtain a divorce. These attorneys would argue that spouses should use lawyers and go through the court system. As divorce lawyers understand mediation and its benefits for their clients, benefits for continuing a positive familial relationship for children, cost effectiveness, and time effectiveness.
Myth: In mediation, the mediator decides what's fair.
Fact: The mediator is not a judge or an arbitrator. A mediator has no power to make decisions for the divorcing spouses. It is the mediator's job to work with the spouses to help them negotiate an agreement that each of them considers fair enough to accept.
MEDIATION, A BETTER CHOICE, is a service provided by Dykema Law Offices, West Michigan's premier family law firm. Our family law attorneys have over 20 years in family law experience and are trained and certified family law mediators.
Contact Jayne Dykema or Lori Zellers today. jad.dykema@tds.net or ljz.dykema@tds.net
